Hung (and Stabbed) Jury

(CNN) -- The Teflon apparently doesn't fall far from the tree.

After four trials in five years ended with hung juries, federal prosecutors appear to have given up on convicting John A. "Junior" Gotti of mob-related charges.

The U.S. Attorney's office in New York filed notice on January 8 of nolle prosequi, or non-prosecution, and it was promptly signed by a judge.

"The case is over, it's dismissed and it cannot be brought back," said attorney Ron Kuby, who testified at Gotti's trial and represented his father, "Teflon Don" John Gotti Sr..

What's next for Gotti Jr.? Jersey Shore season 2?

Gotti Jr. was later seen at the local Olive Garden "fistpumping like a champion."

Colorful Language

Washington (CNN) -- Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid apologized Saturday for making racially insensitive remarks about Barack Obama during the presidential campaign. Journalists Mark Halperin and John Heilemann reported the remarks in their new book, "Game Change," which is scheduled to be in bookstores Tuesday.

The authors quote Reid as saying privately that Obama, as a black candidate, could be successful thanks, in part, to his "light-skinned" appearance and speaking patterns "with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one."

In a statement to CNN, Reid said, "I deeply regret using such a poor choice of words."
"I sincerely apologize for offending any and all Americans, especially those who love fried chicken and watermelon.


Reid later apologized to Michelle Obama, saying "I'm sorry I didn't know your master was black too."

Dickless Dads

(Parenting.com) -- Here's one thing they don't teach dads in prenatal class: Once a baby's in the picture, you're going to be shopping for more than just diapers. You're also going to be scoping out some new friends.
Moms go through this friend turnover as well, but I'd argue that we have a tougher time with the transition than our wives do.
Why? Because men and women interact very differently with their same-sex pals. Sure, women do stuff together, but they're also happy to convene over coffee -- a date often planned well in advance -- or call each other up just to chat.
Guys aren't quite so down with the whole heart-to-heart thing. We tend to connect by doing something active, such as a hike or a round of golf, typically arranged the night before.

This strange phenomenon is also know as losing your balls.

Get new friends? My friends without wives and kids are the only thing that keep me sane.

A hike? Some of the other active things we dads do together are
1. get lap dances
2. watch each other get lap dances
3. buy each other lap dances
4. talk about how much weight are wives have gained
5. share stories about how awesome we were in high school

7-UP yours

(CNN) -- It fizzes. It quenches. And it could also contain fecal bacteria.
Nearly half of the 90 beverages from soda fountain machines in one area in Virginia tested positive for coliform bacteria -- which could indicate possible fecal contamination, according to a study published in the January issue of International Journal of Food Microbiology.

-Was it human or animal fecal matter? Just asking, there's a lot of bestiality in VA

-This explains why Sierra Mist tastes like shit

-After hearing the results of the study, one local resident was over heard telling his wife "so not only is all that soda making you fatter, but it's also the reason your breath stinks."

-So they were serious with that 7-UP advertising campaign, "make 7-Up yours"

No Pants, No Problem

January 10, 2010 was the 9th Annual No Pants Subway ride; a tradition that started in New York is now nation and world wide. About 44 different cities in 16 different countries participated this year. The only requirements are to be brave enough to take your pants off on the subway while keeping a straight face.

-Now there are two Subways with $5 footlongs

-San Francisco has recently banned this tradition due to the number of subways rear ending each other.

-Today was the first time in 20 years Tiger Woods has ridden the subway.

-One homeless man in new york was asking locals to put their spare change in his "coin slot"

Usher your ass back to the jewlery store

R&B star Usher had his SUV burglarized in December as he and his bodyguard returned from the airport. According to police, the pair had stopped at an AT&T store across from a local mall when someone allegedly made off with jewelry, cameras and other items worth a mint. According to the police he lost

- Jewelry bag containing five watches, three necklaces, two rings and six bracelets, $1 million.
- Assorted clothing and furs, $50,000
- Bottega Veneta duffel bag, $4,000
- Two Mac Powerbook computers, $3,000 and$2,000
as well as two Louis Vuitton bags, two Sony cameras and two Flip video cameras.
Police said no arrests have been made.

What the hell? Was he on his way back from a garage sale at Lil Jons?